The middle of the year and the change of seasons that comes with it can be a difficult time for carers, particularly if they are navigating the new or complex needs of their loved ones.
This is one major reason why Carers Week takes place in June; it is a time for all carers to be recognised, appreciated and supported for all the work they do.
As specialists in home care, we understand that the difficulties of supporting a loved one are multifaceted; it is not just about ensuring their needs are taken care of but balancing your personal life with their needs and the complex emotions that come from care.
With caring for family members often seen as a familial responsibility, it can sometimes be difficult for a family carer to ensure that their own needs are met as well as those of their loved ones.
The goal of Carers Week is to help with this, but if you are struggling as a family carer, either with meeting the personal care needs of your loved one or ensuring that your own needs are met, here are some questions to ask yourself and ways in which you can start to navigate your feelings.
Are You Acknowledging Everything That You Do To Care For Your Loved One?
Whilst you may not feel like it is a job, or may even feel guilty when taking care of your loved one feels like work, the truth is that you do something exceptionally vital and often go above and beyond for your family.
This is extremely laudable, and whatever you do for the people in your life should be recognised and celebrated. Caring for your loved ones is work; if it was not, professional services such as ours would not exist.
This means that you should be proud of what you do, but also understand that your feelings about your role, positive and negative, are both valid.
Be realistic about how you are managing your role as a caregiver and everything else in your life. Even if you qualify for Carer’s Allowance, you may need extra help, either in the form of respite care or a more permanent arrangement to help with more complex needs.
Are You Taking Time For Yourself?
Whilst caring for someone can often be a full-time job, for some family carers, it becomes a round-the-clock role that they feel guilty taking time away from.
A simple fact is that you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of others, and caregiver burnout can hurt not only you but also your loved one.
Make sure you make it clear when you can help out and ensure that you take time for yourself. Small breaks separate from your care work can help you feel safer, rest your nervous system, manage burnout and boost your mood.
Do not abandon your hobbies or interests, and ensure that you set aside time for yourself. If your loved one would struggle without you, it is often a sign that they need additional support.
Are You Setting Boundaries For Yourself?
Setting time for yourself is one crucial boundary you need to set for yourself as a family carer. It is okay to say no to requests you feel uncomfortable doing or do not have the energy for, as long as those tasks will get done.
If you have a lot to do and not a lot of energy, prioritise what you need to do, rather than the tasks that are nice to have.
As well as this, be clear about when and what you can do. If you are working alongside your care duties and you can only spend an hour a day taking care of your loved one, they should not expect you to do more than is realistically possible in that time.
Understanding what they can do themselves, what you can help them with and when they may be able to take care of themselves is vital for ensuring a balance of care needs and a familial relationship.
If they need more help or you are feeling overwhelmed, you may need additional support, either from other friends and family, or through professional services.
Are You Keeping In Contact With Your Social Network?
One of the biggest dangers for family carers and their loved ones is becoming isolated as a result of prioritising care needs, but this does not need to be the case.
Make sure you take time to check in with relatives, text or call your friends and maintain a social life beyond your care role. Keeping those elements separate is vital to ensure that you can provide the best care to your loved one and feel supported.
Many local areas also have carers’ groups who meet up and share their stories, express feelings that they might not feel comfortable doing so outside of like-minded company and share solutions on how to take care of their loved ones and themselves at the same time.
Are You Noting Down Your Feelings?
If you have particularly strong or uncomfortable feelings, or feel the emotional weight of being a family carer most potently during times when other parts of your support network are unavailable, it can be helpful to write down your thoughts and feelings.
Many people journal, either as a way to express their thoughts, figure themselves out, think about their life as a carer or simply to find things to be grateful for.
It can be really helpful to write down your feelings; not only does it provide a personal chronicle of the natural ups and downs of caring without any fear of judgement or stigma, but the act of putting your emotions onto paper can help to reduce them as a burden on your mind.
As well as this, if you are struggling and need additional care and support yourself, your journal can provide evidence of your thoughts and feelings through your time caring for your loved one, and which tasks you may need additional help with.
